Funeral eulogy and more memories of Dee Dee

by Sam McBride

Following up on the previous posting, here is Eve`s eulogy from the funeral, as well as more comments that have come forward in emails and cards, plus some new photos,




Dee Dee in about 1940

Eve McBride speaking at her mother Dee Dee`s funeral in Trail, B.C. on Jan. 21, 2012:

"I have an old high school friend.  We were talking the other day.  When we were teenagers every girlfriend of mine loathed their mothers.  They found me frustrating…they would demand to know why I didn’t hate my mother - because that was the norm.  I’d shrug and say “I don’t know I just really like her – we just “get along so well”.

            Years later a co-worker made a comment.  She said she noticed that when her mother phoned her at work she’d groan and roll her eyes uttering “Ahh!  It’s my mother!”  She noticed when my mother phoned I reported back “Oh! It’s my mother” in a pleasantly surprised voice.
            I guess I’m very lucky!  I’ve had a terrific mum who displayed it in so many ways.  She was sporty – thanks to her I took up skiing, waterskiing and swimming.  My mum and dad spent hours standing in blizzards and fog, watching me ski race.  They bought a boat and got us all water skiing.  Once they realized I could drive the boat they spent more time on the beach sipping gin and tonics!
            My mum and dad truly enjoyed golf.  I was born in the Nelson Hospital during the “Labour Day Golf Tournament.”  My dad was one of the players.  My mother’s nurse sent a message to page Leigh McBride on the course to come to the hospital.  They had a baby girl! My dad sent a message back “congratulations Dee Dee!  I can’t come just yet because…. I’m winning!  See you soon.”  My mum totally understood and had a chuckle with me.
            My mum was a culture vulture.  She introduced me to ballet, symphonies and theatre.  She organized the tickets in Trail and we always had splashy evenings out when she came to Vancouver.  One trip my mum, Sam and I met in London.  Sam said “Let’s go!  Forget the jet lag”- we went to two plays a day for a week – we all loved it!
            My mum was friendly and complimentary to all.  I was so impressed the way she knows names of people wherever we went – the bakery, the gas station, the grocery store – and these strangers had such an adoring look for her.  Everyone was invited to the cabin.  Later on when my mum was at Columbia View Lodge even the resident or nurse who was having the crankiest day would melt when she told them of their beauty.  Then she’d follow up with a song – No one could resist her booming versions of Gilbert & Sullivan.
            For many years my mum’s singing, sense of drama and fun dominated any parties, family dinners and even gatherings with strangers.  In Vancouver a girlfriend invited us to a dinner party with eight people who’d never met my mum.  By the end of the night they were all belting out DD’s songs from “My Fair Lady”!


Eve and Dee Dee at Expo 67 in Montreal

            My mum was curious and smart. In 1964 she was the only mum I knew who vaguely heard about an interesting rock n roll group , bought tickets from afar, piled us into a car and  drove to Vancouver to see them.  That group was – “The Beatles”.
            My mum was a wonderful grandmother.  Her personality was truly entertaining to the kids -  one moment sweet and full of praise; the next moment a sarcastic zinger would come their way.  When they were young my mum would insult them with the phrase “Why don’t you go down to the water and dunk your head 3 times and come up twice!”  With the kids she painted rocks, did Easter egg hunts in the forest, watched hours of soccer, tennis and dance and played many card games including violent games of spoons!  Her passions were her family and good old England.  She was strangely more English than the English!  If the kids needed to tease her they would just put down something English then sit back and watch the fireworks!
            I have very fond memories growing up with my mum and dad and brothers’ Ken and Sam.  My mum was the conductor of our family train.  She made things happen.  The last years of her life my mum had to let someone else be the conductor.  I’m very lucky that Sam and Ken were able and willing to be with my mum as I was raising my own family in Vancouver.  After Ken left us Sam became her steady and sole caregiver.  He’s done it with a lot of heart and dedication.  Sam, I am so grateful.
            My mother was the sweetest, kindest, most loving and giving woman.  I absolutely loved spending time with her.
            My mother’s angel will be with my family forever. Thank you."




Dee with Megan and Elaine Dewdney in about 1975

 Emails:

Dear Eve and Sam--------I have been thinking of you so much and sending warm prayers your way. I received the news while enroute to Mexico. I have been flooded with such fond memories of so many great times with Dee Dee!! Your mom was so dear to us all. I am sorry I am not going to be with you all on sat -------but will be raising a margarita or 2 or3!!!!!--------in celebration of one amazing and truly special woman. Love to you all and I look forward to seeing you all in Vancouver. Love me xxxxx

Jen Stanger, Vancouver Island



with leigh on mine tour

Eve,

I am so sorry for your loss but what a great woman your mom was. You are very lucky to have had a woman like her in your life who gave you life!

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you at this time.

Lots of love and hugs,

Neely



with Sam at Fletcher cabin

Eve:

Thank you for sending this. Most interesting, thoughtful and lovingly written. What an interesting life she led, and how well she lived it. Now I know why you are so proud of your mum, and were so close to her. You will miss her, but you can take comfort in the fact that she did live a truly remarkable, and yes, dignified life.

I will be sure to send a donation in her memory on behalf of David Thompson staff.

My thoughts are with you and your family. -- Shamim



dinner at the Palmasons

My Dear Eve....deepest condolences to you and the family. I remember meeting her a couple of times and seeing what a character she was......I think you have inherited some of her traits!

It sounds like a life well lived and loved........all the best to you, Bill and family, take care and thank you for including me....Love Paddy



Dee and Sam on Queens Bay beach in about 2006

Eve - I am sorry to hear about your Mum passing.
>
> That is so sad. She was such a great lady.
>
> I remember her so well from the time Kelly & I stayed with you at Kootenay Lake.
> She was so fun.
>
> My thoughts are with you and Bill and your whole family.
> All the best,
> Brenda & Gary too, Vancouver



1948 wedding party, from left: maid of honour Catherine Argyle, Dee Dee, Leigh and best man Peter Dewdney

Eve -

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know you had mentioned you were visiting your mom not too too long ago. Moms are special and I trust you will treasure those special memories. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

With regards, Nancy

Hello Eve,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother's passing. It is sad news indeed - she was one in a million. An inspiration for me - to face the future cheerfully and always full of hope.
Thank you so much for sending the obituary - what an interesting life she has had! A strong woman, paving the way for all of us and our kids in the equality department without much fanfare, just doing it.
Aidan's and my thoughts are with you. We are sure it is exhausting, but probably also wrought with a mixture of melancholy, relief and sadness.
We wish you strength and are sending you mentally good vibes for the days and weeks ahead. AND I will never forget Dee Dee and the fun.
Much love,
Ulrike and Aidan



Dee Dee as a young girl on the beach

Hi Eve - I am so sorry to hear that your mother passed away. She was a terrific gal, with amazing spirit! I loved her singing and passion for sports. She was also a compelling storyteller. I will miss her neighborhood visits and witty stories.
Will connect soon,
Charlene

Oh my gosh Eve my condolences. That is very sad and you will likely always miss her. I lost my Mom in 2001 and still think of her every day. Be good to yourself and celebrate the times you were lucky enough to have with her.
Xoxoxox
Kelly



Dee Dee with longtime Tadanac friend Jack Buchanan

My goodness Eve, what a beautiful life!

Sheila

Dearest Eve,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. As I remember, she had such a wonderful spark and must have been such an important person in your life.

No matter what, it's always hard to lose your Mum, even when it's their time to go.

I will always have fond memories of when you brought her to town and to Jericho.

We are indeed blessed to have amazing Mums and can keep that memory even when we are most sad.

Thinking of you

Love and prayers,

Fran



with Jack Bensted at Expo 86

Hi Mum,

I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am to hear about Deedee. I know that she was very ill and it was her time to go, but the thought that I'll never see her again is very painful. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Deedee was such an amazingly loving person. I definitely owe some of my better qualities to her, including my sarcastic wit... I love her so so so much and I have a wealth of wonderful memories of her. The best times of my life have been spent at Queen's Bay, and Deedee's presence there has a lot to do with that. I already miss her immensely. I attached a couple of nice pictures.

Love, Carly



with Eve's family and the Jim Allan family, with Blake Allan standing at right

Hi

I'm so glad you got a chance to spend time with your mum before she passed away. Take care of yourself.

My goodness Eve, what a beautiful life!

Sheila

Eve I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you were able to be with her at the end of her wonderful life. Take care of yourself

Jo-Anne McCluskie



with Dewdney relations in about 1991

Oh my gosh Eve my condolences. That is very sad and you will likely always miss her. I lost my Mom in 2001 and still think of her every day. Be good to yourself and celebrate the times you were lucky enough to have with her.
Xoxoxox
Kelly

Cards:

Dear Sam and Eve:

I am so sorry Deedee has died.  What a void you will have in your lives without her, but it was her time to leave this world.

Your mother was such a delightful person to know!  We have had so many fun times together.

When Jim and I first came to Nelson in 1951 we lived with your Mom and Dad at the house on Baker Street.  Finally Jim’s mother told us it was time we got our own place!

Deedee, Betty Bensted and I did many things together in those days – two of us would go golfing while the third took care of all the kids!

I know these last few years have been very difficult for everyone.  Sam, you have been a truly wonderful and devoted son.

My thoughts are with you both at this sad time.  – Ruth, Vancouver



Dee Dee as a young woman

Sam,

We were very sorry to learn of Dee Dee’s death.  She was a wonderful person – warm and intelligent – with a great sense of humour. 

She was also blessed with two sons who took good care of her.

I’m sorry we were away for the funeral.  We made a donation to KBRH foundation in memory of your mom.  You and the rest of the family are in our prayers. – Lorraine, Robb and Charlotte, Trail

Sam: A small and belated token {donation to the Kootenay Boundary Hospital Foundation} in memory of a kind and truly elegant lady who will always be remembered by her quiet and generous dignity.  Sincerely, Jean and John, Trail

 Sam:  I was sorry to read of your mom’s passing.  The obituary was a great tribute to her.  My heart and thoughts are with you. – Marion, Trail



Jake Spencer with Dee Dee

Sam and Margaret:

So so said to know that Deedee and the Trail/Kootenay generation have passed the baton.

I treasure the memories of her giggling at the cabin and being so sweet to us kids.  I will miss her terribly!  I will drink several gin and tonics in her favor along with apple pie!

Thanks so much, Sam, for all the correspondence and photos to help keep us connected.

Please come and visit us, you two, whenever you can.

I would have loved to have been there for the service.  So sorry I couldn’t pull it off.  – cousin Tracy, Colorado

on Queens Bay beach in summer of 1995

 Sam: Sorry this card is so late but our words and thoughts are still sincere. 

You can be proud of the time you had given your mother, caring for her needs. – Grace, Trail

 Sam: Dee Dee was such a special person.  We will all miss her!  I was so disappointed to miss her service – we agonized about going, but weather was too extreme.

My thoughts and love are with you.  She will leave a hole in our lives.  Cousin Rene, Vancouver



one of Dee Dee's favorite photos was this one of her brother Peter Dewdney and her great friend from Nelson years, Pauline Stanger.  Taken in Trail at the McBride house in Tadanac in 1977,